Onion, Caddilac belt buckle

Onion, Cadillac belt buckle
It was just after supper and James was polishing up his grandpa’s good boots for the dance that night. He was taking Martha for their first date. It was a hoe-down at the county fair, a little cheesy but it was the tradition in the Smith family to take the suitor to a barn dance for the first date, heaven only knows why. “You know your great grandpa Joseph met his wife at a barn dance back in Norway.” Sam had been standing in the door watching is son get the dirt out of the “good boots.” “This has got to be one of the strangest family traditions, couldn’t I just tell grandma and grandpa we went? It took me long enough to persuade her to go on any sort of date, this is just going to scare her off.” James looked pleadingly at his father framed in the door to the kitchen. “I know it seems campy, but it worked on your mother and she was a fine catch.”
“Who was a ‘fine catch’?”
“You were dear.” Sam said with a kiss on the cheek of his “rosy bride.” Jenny had come up from the basement after searching in vein for her fathers lucky belt buckle, “Sorry dear no luck, is that alright.” James couldn’t be happier. “I’ll just do with out, it’s fine, really.”
“Nonsense I’ll lend you one of mine, be back in two licks.”
James waited for his father to leave the kitchen in search of what he imagined to be the most garish belt buckle ever cast out of a helpless lump of bronze. “Ma, do I really have to do this, I know its tradition ‘n all, but back then so we’re outhouses, and I think we’ve out grown them by now.”
“Don’t worry about it dear, I was talking with Martha’s mom today, she seemed pretty excited to see you in full get-up.” James had a renewed burst of vigor trying to get a dried lump of god-know-what off the heel of the left boot. “Really, I mean its kind-a silly” he didn’t look up but paused in his polishing to hear the answer in full. “You know what they say about a man in uniform dear.” James gave a bit of a smirk and held the boot up in the light to get a better read, not to shabby. “I’d understand if maybe we lived on a farm, or even near a farm, but we live in the middle of a city, I mean you and dad have a matching set of Volvos.”
“Here we go, my finest buckle”
“Is that a Cadillac badge?” James was starring dumbstruck at the vibrantly enameled, chromed, and generally massive buckle.
“Sure is, my buddies and I stole it off the mayor’s car when I was your age” A quick look from Jenny deflated his glee, “I err, well honey the cats out of the bag now, might as well tell the story?” he pleaded furiously and silently winning out with a sheepish smile.
“Don’t go getting any ideas now you hear?—ok well this would have been in the summer between junior and senior years. Your mother had transferred into my class a month before school let out, and boy was she a knock out. All the boys were tripping over each other trying to get her number, Marvin Camble, eh he’s your dentist now, punched out big Jimmy Smitts for taking his seat at the table next to her in the cafeteria. Any-way, that summer your mother and I were working at the same shop downtown, it’s still there I think, little hole of a flower shop. She was the counter girl and I was a delivery boy. Wooo she looked good in a sun dress, probably didn’t want to know that sorry. She was the nicest person I had ever met we would talk after hours when we did inventory and well on thing led to another. I would by her a new bouquet of flowers every Saturday, I was quite the Casanova in those days, heh. Well I finally got the courage up to ask her out on a date. Heh well actually she asked me, but if you tell this to anyone else I asked her ok? Well I went home and told my mother, boy did she get a wicked smile, she dragged out this photo album of all the pictures of cousins and uncles and aunt and what not and filled me in on the family tradition. Boy that was like a sucker punch to the gut, my dad was so proud he dug out the belt buckle he wore with your grandma, wow was that an ugly thing, it was to rams butting heads in front of an American flag, urg. Well I wasn’t about to ware that with the best girl in town but I couldn’t let on to my pa he was just bubbling with delight. Well the night came and I hatched a plan with my pals to leave early and try and find something a bit better. Well its not like there’s an abundance of belt buckles around here. But I had my dads old station wagon so we started trolling for something better. It was fast approaching when I had promised to pick her up, and I had nothing. I was almost about to give up when we drove past city hall, and there it was. Glorious thing to behold shone like the north star, one can do might stupid things for a girl you know, and so I found my self prizing that thing form the hood of a gleaming Cadillac. Hopped in the car and my buddy Elmore quick attached it with some baling wire, I tossed them out round the corner and arrived dressed to the T’s to find your mother sporting the most ridiculous hat I have ever seen a human ware. Was her grandpa’s at some point I think, Right dear? Well we must have been the strangest couple in town that night. The date went swimmingly, wont tell you the rest of that part. Well wake up the next morning come down stairs and my dads laughing and reading aloud this story about how the mayors car was vandalized and how he was starting up an official inquiry into the travesty and the making the poor sheriff set up a round the clock guard for his car, he was a little off his rocker I suppose. Well that’s the story of our first date.
James looked at his father his markedly frumpy Volvo driving father and tried to imagine him walking into a barn wearing the mayors stolen hood ornament as a belt buckle with the “best girl in town” on his arm, it just wasn’t happening. He looked to his mother for a reading of truth, and got the impression he may have left out a few of the juicier details under advisement from her. “Wow dad I never knew you were cool.”
“Ouch.”
“So can I barrow your car?”